Shelvis

So, today was my company's Holiday Party. We had a special guest.

SHELVIS! For those of you who may not have caught on, that is SHE-ELVIS. It was amazing. Truly!

She sang some Christmas songs and did some real Elvis songs. I especially liked Hound Dog, because since I have a hound dog, I can vouch for the fact they they do, indeed cry all the time. However, my hound dog has caught a rabbit, she is a friend of mine, AND she is high-class. She is the total hound dog package!

So, amidst this imagination-creating environment I have fashioned a new jingle. Can you guess the title?

I bring you - SHELVIS

Shelvis, Shelvis your songs I admire,
Your gyrations are so good, to me they inspire,
But when I try to gyrate, I seem in a quagmire,
I wonder with whom it is you conspire,
Praise the Lord that you are for hire.

I thoroughly enjoyed Shelvis and her boss production, and I enjoyed making this jingle. I feel like I have hit a pinnacle or something - I used gyration! That is impressive, even to me. HAHAHA!

So, Merry Christmas, my friends. I hope your company parties are half as cool as mine.

A Poem for Tammy

OK, so my cousin Tammy once mentioned that I should write a poem to get her daughter, Sara, to clean her room.

Since it was just Tammy's birthday, I have decided to make her wish come true.

Behold the Room Cleaning Poem:

Dirty room, dirty room,
I will the vacuum to go "vroom",
Maybe then my Mom wouldn't throw the broom,
She's so mad, I'm scared she'll blow -- KABOOM!
Dirty room, I wish you clean,
It would be like a time machine,
My whole room, it could gleam,
If only this were just a dream.

There it is! I hope Tammy likes it. :) Happy Birthday Tammy!

Fiber One Muffins Response!

So, at the insistence of some friends, I sent my Fiber One poem to General Mills. What a lame response! I hoped I'd get at least a coupon. Boo Hiss!!

Dear Mrs. Hxxxx:

Thank you for contacting Pillsbury regarding Fiber One banana chocolate chip muffins. We appreciate the time you have taken to share your positive feedback with us. We will be very happy to pass on your comments to the product team.

We are committed to creating the highest quality products for our consumers. Feedback such as yours helps us achieve this goal for the future.

We appreciate your loyalty and hope you continue to enjoy our products.

Sincerely,

Jenni
Consumer Services

Guest Blogger Tonight!

The wait is over! The secret guest blogger's identity is revealed! The following poem was penned by my friend Jen just before lunch. There seems to be a mini-revolution happening at my office...lots of things, everyday things are being set to poetry. It's been fun!

Without further adieu, I give you Jen's LUNCH POEM

Hunger hunger,
It's 10:30 in the mornin'
When I was younger
I would have been scornin'
Feeling you so early
This makes me surly
I eat too much,
Which would be ok if all I ate was spinach
But it's not, I like french fries
And they make me a bigger size

How cute is that?! I loved it. Of course, she gave me permission to post it here. You hear it FIRST on Mel's Jingles! HAHA!

Requests, anyone?

If you have something you'd like to see set to poetry, or have a fun blog about, send me your idea! I'm looking forward to the challenge. I've already been asked to use a classic author in every poem! What is next? I can't wait to see your suggestions! Send 'em in!

A Change of Plans

I know that I promised a surprise guest for tonight's blog entry, but I left her work on my laptop which is sleeping away in it's laptop bag. I cannot disturb it! So, as much as I know you are let down, alas, you must wait one more night. But, to make up for my inherent laziness, I bring you POOPER SCOOPER one full night early!


Without further delay, I present POOPER SCOOPER

Convenient Pooper Scooper, you clean the yard like Comet,
Even though using you makes me want to vomit,
Especially when I scoop and the poop gets stuck on it,
I try to clean you in the grass,
But it makes me look so low class,
I give up, crass, and decide,
You're just a pain in the grass.

I decided as I crafted this gem for my husband, that it would be fun if I took requests. Doesn't that sound fun?! I'm going to try my hand.

Comment back with your requests! And stay tuned for tomorrow's guest spot. I promise it will be featured tomorrow!

Good night Pooper Scoopers!

A Toughy!

So, it's another balmy night in Denver (-5). When did it start getting so cold here anyway? Dang!

After finishing last night's blog, I was challenged to another duel. My husband thinks he is hysterical - and challenged me to write about a pooper scooper. However, I have something else in mind ahead of the pooper scooper. But, don't fret -I never back down from a challenge. That being said, tomorrow night we have a guest appearance and then Thursday night will be pooper scooper night. Gross.

The best crackers ever?

Picture this. You are perusing the aisles at your local Costco, and you turn your cart down the cracker aisle. You mosey down the aisle looking for your usual Wheat Thins or maybe you are hoity toity and go for Ritz. Whatever. At the end you see what appears to be an angelic light shining down on a mysterious box of crackers. Wondering if it is the bright Costco can light, or a heaven-sent cracker - you move on down the aisle to investigate.

When you get to the end of the row, you look at the box; it shows itself to be Crunchmaster Rice Crackers, Toasted Sesame, of course. Rice Crackers?! YUCK. Of course, this is your first instinct. You look around and see the woman next to you furiously shoveling the crackers into her cart. This alerts you that they may be delicious after all. You try to muscle in and get yourself a box, but it's too late. A frenzy of housewives has taken hold of the cracker aisle! Elbows are jammed into stranger's faces, perfectly parted and colored hair is pulled free from its pony. Velour sweatsuits of every color dash in and out of your peripheral. By the time the dust has settled, you get off the floor and straighten your hair. Glancing up to the empty spot on the shelf, you come to grips with the fact that the Crunchmaster Rice Crackers are GONE.

Fellow Costco shopper - don't fall into this trap! When you see these crackers, do like the first housewife and stockpile them into your cart. Run to the check stand like you are on Supermarket Sweep and don't look back! You won't regret it. With only 130 calories and 0 fat for 15 crackers, they can't be beat.

Ahem...

Ode to Crunchmaster Rice Crackers
Your toasted goodness makes my knees go weak,
I can eat a whole package and then feel like a freak,
With other crackers, I'd have to work out for a week,
But not with these, no, they make me stay chic!

Rice crackers with a flavor so mild,
I'd like to eat them till I go wild,
Even when I do I don't hide like a child,
Rice Crackers, your name I have filed.

So there it is! Stay tuned for tomorrow's entry. We have a guest appearance! Just wait till you hear her poem about lunch.

Till then - stay warm!

Tis' the Season for Freezin'!

It's the freezin' season, so have you stopped at Starbuck's lately? Even though I determined that I would not be spending my hard earned dollars on frivolous coffee purchases...I found myself at a Starbuck's over the weekend (it was a whole five degrees in Denver, so sue me). This is a testament to my dedication!

Anyway- instead of a coffee drink, I opted for my all time favorite, a Chai Latte with Soy. What came next, you must be wondering? My husband challenged me to a duel. He doubted my abilities to jingle about the delicious drink. So, he gave me a time limit - I can't remember exactly what it was (I've slept since then) but it was something like two minutes. So, here is my pressure cooker poem:

Frothy Chai Latte with Soy,
Your delightful taste fills me with joy,
When I place my lips upon your cup, I wonder - is your promise a ploy?
You are as profound as Tolstoy.
I take a sip and it is then that I understand,
Your promise is no drip.

I can't decide which I like best but I think both are hilarious. The fact that I worked in Tolstoy makes me chuckle a little. I mean, not to toot my own horn...because obviously they are both ridiculous - but FUNNY!

So maybe you should give up your stall mate with Starbuck's and stay warm this evening? It's eight degrees in Denver at the moment. A frothy chai latte would "warm the cockles of you heart" and a super cool Irishman I know might say. But maybe he wouldn't say that at all, and I've gone and put him in a stereotypical Irish box. Whatever, he'll get over it.

My First One - Jingle and Blog!

So, this is the thing. I write. It's what I like, it's what heals me. Mostly, I like to write fun stuff, and sometimes - there is a little bit of serious that straggles in. But this struck me in a moment of fun. Have you tried a Fiber One muffin? Seriously. They are amazing. Who would have ever thought that such a tasty and healthy breakfast treat shared the same space as we? I never imagined, until, in a rush to make it to work, I nabbed one out of the freezer as I bolted out the door (yes, they live in the freezer case at your local grocer --you can only hope, anyway).

Has a breakfast pastry (or something equally as weird) ever inspired you? Maybe not, but it inspired me. So I wrote a poem about my muffin. Ahem...

Dear Fiber One Muffin,

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

Your fluffy insides make you fun to chew,

Your chocolate minis scream, "I love you",

The delectible banana flavor, oh how I savor.

Sweet Fiber One muffin, your virtues so true,

Never forget how much I love you.

So there it is. My first sorta jingle. Since then, I have written one about Starbuck's Chai Latte with Soy. I'm not that excited though, I bet there are loads of others who adore those drinks as I do.

I'm on a roll. I think I'll post the chai poem later. Who knows what I might be inspired by between now and then. I am making a meatloaf downstairs...maybe I'll come up with something for that. It's a vast land out there.