People of Wal-Mart

So, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry for that! A lot happened between now and then. But, my creative juices are back and flowing and I am newly committed to my blog! I am working on some fun stuff for newly loved things. I have one in the works for Drop Dead Diva, a little ditty for the new Starbucks Vanilla Creme...WOW. That thing is fantastical! I am also working on a little poem, Ode to my Houndy. we lost our hound dog mabel on 7/31/10 and I shall I plan to immortalize her here.

So, as a welcome back to my followers (all 6 of you!) I bring you a poem written by my witty husband. A real tribute to those regular shoppers of America's favorite retailer...WAL-MART.

People of Wal-Mart

Sweatpants spandex
and headbands together.
With accents of buttocks,
on thongs made of leather.

If you looked like this,
YOU wouldn't dare be outside.
But not me, I am special,
and bursting with pride.

Even in the freezer aisle,
I'm still sweating buckets,
Looking for rollbacks
On tasty chicken nuggets.

Have you seen my wolf tattoo?
Do you see that little sparkle?
It's a rabid cyborg wolf warrior,
from the planet Zoozarkle!

But wait, fellow shopper,
The wolves never stop there,
There's a wolf on no less
Than every outfit I wear!

And Walmart, oh, Wal-mart,
if appliances you'd carry,
my World of Warcraft shirts
would be as clean as I hairy.

So if you see me shopping,
please stop and say hi.
I'm the one in see-through shorts,
and looking sooooooooooo fly.

Good Riddance, Blasted Year

So, in honor of the passing of the wretched year 2009, I feel it is only appropriate to post a poem. It took a long time to make this short!

Now, this is not a funny one, but more of a closure to a tremendously crappy year, a year I never want to repeat as long as I live. I'm sure I am not alone in my feelings for this year...

2009
2009 how I wished you would shine,
I longed for you to be a year so divine.
In the beginning, I thought - I'll accomplish a lot,
Almost as quickly, I was crazy distraught.
2009, you got me so caught, in so many ways I never had sought.
By the end of the year, my eyes filled with tears,
How much I look forward to having 2010 here.